| friends |
[Jun. 10th, 2009|01:37 pm] |
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.
( Read more... ) |
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| furious! |
[Mar. 17th, 2009|02:31 pm] |
I had to have a cheeseburger for lunch today because our cafeteria rather than having a station dedicated to serving corned beef and cabbage and potatoes decided to throw all that shit on the buffet where it's ridiculously expensive. A serving that in years past ran for about $6 plus tax would cost $10 easy for a comparable amount at the buffet. In this economy???
Fuck weighing food. |
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| sabres |
[Feb. 20th, 2009|11:57 am] |
I've decided to become a fan of the Buffalo Sabres.
I can probably count on one hand the number of hockey games I've seen in my lifetime, and until deciding to follow the NHL for the first time ever I had no idea they got rid of the Patrick divisions in favor of regional names that make a bit more sense. So I started with a clean state and had the entire league to choose from without prejudice. I narrowed things down using the following criteria:
1) The team must not have won the Stanley Cup in the past 15 years at least
2) The team must play in the United States
3) The city must have cold weather and not be a place I already hate
Then someone suggested the Sabres and I said OK. They have never won and you can't get much colder in the US than Buffalo. In addition, there has been sufficient heartbreak and even murder in their history. I'd link to the video of their goalie having his throat slashed but it's way too horrifying.
I keep wanting to call them the Buffalo Bisons, but until Cleveland gets an NHL franchise of their own...this is my team. I look forward to watching them for the first time Saturday night!
They are clinging to the 8th seed and I think the playoffs start soon, so you've got to hurry if you want to get on the bandwagon. |
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| snuggie |
[Jan. 23rd, 2009|03:32 pm] |
About a month ago or so I ordered a Snuggie. The other day I got an email that my order was being "processed" and that I can expect to receive my Snuggie sometime next week. They sure do take their time but the anticipation is well worth the wait. I am very excited and cold.
However, I was talking to some people at work about this and someone brought up a very good point. While conventional blankets are not perfect...they DO provide a certain amount of necessary privacy and allow you to do things with your hands that you couldn't as easily do with your arms stuck in sleeves. How disappointing to realize this so late! It's kinda like that episode of the Twilight Zone with all the books and the guy with all the time in the world to read who breaks his glasses. Sort of. |
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| year in review |
[Dec. 27th, 2008|05:45 pm] |
Almost certainly something more substantial or noteworthy happened to me in 2008, but a year is a very long time relatively speaking and I have a poor memory. Also, something that may appear to be insignificant at first can sometimes have lasting impact. You never know? So for now 2008 will be remembered as the year I noticed an increase in wax buildup in my left year.
Every couple or few days or so and for the past several months I can't help but notice that my left ear has WAY more wax than the right. As far as I can determine by eyeballing Q-tips, the right ear produces roughly the same amount it has every day since I can remember cleaning my ears*. Every day is different, of course, but it's always within the acceptable range of what I would consider to be "normal." The left one on the other hand pretty consistently looks like it is occasionally left unclean for many days (which it is not). So the change is definitely in my left ear and is for reasons I couldn't possibly imagine. Anything I do to my left ear I probably also do to my right. Or would, if I ever recognized that I was treating that particular part of my body different than the other.
There are to my knowledge no severe or potentially life-threatening ailments associated with heavy wax buildup, but I am not a doctor so what do I know. Maybe in 2012 2008 will be remembered as the year when I first started to notice early warning signs of ear cancer. Or hopefully it would be something better than that, such as super hearing.
*As if I would clean the ears of someone else! |
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| caroling |
[Nov. 23rd, 2008|11:35 pm] |
It's that time of year again!
The Caroling Carolers is a group I started a few years ago to make the holiday season truly memorable for hundreds of thousands of people. Won't you join me this year? Please email me ASAP if interested. All that's required of you is red and/or green attire and a strong desire to make people happy. Vocal ability a plus but not required.
Unfortunately, due to the economic crisis most or all of our previous sponsors are now bankrupt and thus we have lost our funding. But no worries: if we increase the cheer then everything will be all right!
This year, caroling hours will be 6-10PM, Tuesdays-Sundays, starting November 25th and lasting through December 25. |
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| election update |
[Nov. 4th, 2008|08:40 am] |
Voter turnout is going to be HUGE! This morning it took me over TEN MINUTES to vote, which is SEVERAL MINUTES LONGER than usual.
Also, I really need to update my voter registration before the next election. I registered when I was 18 and way back then I used to sign my name in full (making a reasonable attempt to write out all the letters). Now I just scribble. A poll worker yelled at me once for scribbling so since then I've had to "forge" my own signature. My forgery this morning was not very convincing and they probably will throw my vote away. |
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| further proof of liberal bias |
[Sep. 11th, 2008|09:37 am] |
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The media and others are focusing so much on the fact that Barack Obama said Sarah Palin looked like a pig that they've completely overlooked his extremely crude remark about her genitals. |
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| holy moly |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|09:49 pm] |
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swimming is amazing! |
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| Vampire Clan |
[Jul. 21st, 2008|10:10 pm] |
In 1996 Rod Ferrell murdered the parents of an ex-girlfriend and then fled with her and two other teens from Florida to Louisiana.
( Read more... ) |
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| little shit |
[Jul. 18th, 2008|09:22 am] |
I'm used to getting pushed around by little old ladies on the subway, so this morning when one of them shoved past me to grab the last remaining seat I let her have it. The seat, I mean. I let her have the seat. The platform had been very crowded and I had walked up right as the train was arriving, so I didn't feel as if I had invested much time and wasn't expecting a seat anyway.
Then it turned out to be a dude and I was furious. Not even an old man, but a dude probably several years younger than me, with tattoos and "shades" and a pink shirt that read "custom wear." And as we went underground he kept the shades on, which always really annoys me for whatever reason.
He was so short and pushy I swore it was an old woman. This is going to piss me off all day (because it is very hot). |
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| free gas |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|11:56 am] |
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| all summer long |
[Jun. 25th, 2008|02:00 am] |
When I saw the title and artist and then when I heard the first 5 seconds I got very, very excited. In the back of my mind I was even secretly preparing to not feel terribly guilty for enjoying it so much because the song might even be legitimately decent. It could have been an instant classic. But instead of being completely ridiculous and fun, it's just plain old boring:
Which once again proves my theory: it IS possible to be disappointed by Kid Rock. |
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